Monday, February 16, 2015

When you can't fix it

Over the past couple years I've learned that I'm a fixer. Growing up I knew I was the peacemaker in my family. I did what I could to make sure everyone was ok with each other. I'm not sure how much control I had over anyone but in my mind I held this role. Now, I've learned that I've grown into a fixer. If I can figure out a way to fix something for someone, I would do it. I have worked very hard at recognizing this quality and trying to hone it in. As it's often not a good quality, I'm usually working on trying to relax and not focus on how to fix something.

This weekend was an example of this. I have a friend who was going through something very difficult. I struggled most of the weekend with their situation on my mind and often a panicky feeling like I should help. That's the problem. There truly was no way for me to help. I couldn't offer advice. I couldn't offer an ear to listen. I really couldn't offer anything.

That was so hard for me. There had to be something I could do. I racked my brain for ideas and ways I could DO SOMETHING! Part of it is being a fixer....part of it is truly caring about want to help make their lives better, easier, simpler. You want to help them fix what's broken or at least be there to listen.

So.....I prayed. I realized that's what I could do. That's all I could. But it was something. And praying about the situation was better than anything I could have done to attempt to help. God showed me that prayer is the best way to help anyone and the best way to fix anything. So I prayed. I let God be God and I prayed. I'm not God. We can all admit that's a difficult realization to come by. I'm not God.

So I prayed.

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